Day 217 alcohol free – Feeling meh

Today has been a real meh day. You know those days when you feel flat and fed up but nothing major has happened to make you feel that way?

meh

I have been feeling a bit ill and of course, have worried that I may have covid (I don’t) and I think that the uncertainty has been tricky to deal with. But I don’t think that’s why I feel rubbish.

Routine, routine, routine

I’ve been really lazy of late, the routines that I had been sticking to each morning have definitely slipped. I think in early sobriety it’s easy to feel excited about new routines and your new life. While revelling in your newfound sober freedom, it’s wonderful to walk in nature. Breathing in the air and projecting your joy and happiness into the world. Counting those steps while marvelling at the new you.

This was me, I even joined a spa where I went swimming often, I took time out there to relax and have important time alone. The spa was time for me only which I had never had before and although it felt indulgent I loved it.

I was walking my dogs regularly and making sure that I was out in nature as much as possible, I was lighting candles, attending meetings, reading, meditating and really enjoying not only being sober but relishing my healthier lifestyle.

What routine?

So what has my routine been like of late? It has been sketchy to say the least. The spa was binned when I had a few weeks of being immobile due to my condition. I then decided that I wanted to save the money so didn’t go back. This has been a mistake as I have quickly gone back to my old habits of spending any spare time scrolling on my phone or catching up on housework.

January has made me lazy, the dark nights and the cold have made me avoid walking the dogs. Laziness breeds laziness, the less I do the less I want to do. Most of my new routines have gone out of the window and I am back to scrolling on my phone whilst half watching a TV program that I could tell you nothing about afterwards.

I have started to become insular again, needing time alone, feeling overwhelmed and basically checking out. Work seems like an insurmountable chore and everyday tasks seem like a huge mountain to climb.

I have slipped back into old routines that do not serve me. I have become complacent. Is it any wonder that I have had the odd thought creeping back in wondering if I actually could drink? Am I being silly not to?

I actually am not worried about drinking, I have no intention of starting again right now, but I know that if I carry on the way that I am at the moment, I may not be quite so sure.

Tomorrow is a new day

So what am I going to do? Tomorrow I am going to make a concerted effort to bring back my healthy routines. I am going to start swimming again and I am going to have an allotted time each morning which I will strive to keep to walk my dogs.

I need to cut back massively on my constant phone scrolling. It’s terrible for my mental health and is definitely contributing to my meh feeling. Instead of grabbing my phone as soon as I wake up. I am going to attempt a quick meditation and possibly write my blog at the start of the day if I have time.

Looking at my phone first thing means that my first experience of the day is usually bad news or other peoples moans and gripes. I need to start my day on a positive vibe and my routine right now is not giving me that at all.

Light at the end of the tunnel

The good news is that I am aware of what I haven’t been doing. I have two choices, I either carry on as I am and run the risk of relapse or I give my head a shake and sort myself out. I need to re-introduce the healthy routines that I had been enjoying and I need to do it now. So that’s the plan. Lazy B is getting kicked to the kerb and healthy B is back!

Much love,

B xxx

5 thoughts on “Day 217 alcohol free – Feeling meh

  1. Love this B. Xmas throws all routine out the window. Getting back into all the good stuff and keeping sober rituals is not only good, but can actually save our lives!! Go you 🙌💗

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good morning Beth from the foggy west coast. Our weather has been so meh this winter! I try to be better than allow it to suck the life outta me, but ya know how that goes. I am having my last gym session with my trainer today…. gyms have reopened at half capacity after shutting down before Christmas. I never really got into the gym groove. I am concentrating on a few healthy things everyday instead of telling myself I must have a daily wellness routine! I must! Well obviously this is just not me. Or I would have one by now! So I consider the day…take my mental/physical temperature….the must dos etc….and plan a few goodies to ‘tick the box’. Each day is so different in my body and head so I am adjusting accordingly. One day at a time ❤️Big hug lovely 🦄🦋deborah

    Liked by 1 person

    1. How lovely to hear from you! I couldn’t do the gym either, but signed back up for swimming. You sound very much like you’ve got it sorted and know what works for you. Lots of love to you ❤️🦄

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      1. On Wed, Jan 26, 2022 at 9:31 AM Singing Sobriety with B wrote:

        > B commented: “How lovely to hear from you! I couldn’t do the gym either, > but signed back up for swimming. You sound very much like you’ve got it > sorted and know what works for you. Lots of love to you [image: ❤][image: > 🦄]” >

        Like

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